a gentle reminder that you did well this year. you met new people, learned new things and felt new feelings. you did so many things that made you scared. you picked yourself up off the floor after feeling completely defeated or heartbroken. there were some really tough nights but you survived them all. you made people happy just by existing. you accepted many goodbyes but the serendipitous meetings made up for them. it was your own hard work that paid off but you always downplay it or compare yourself to others. that’s not fair on yourself. you’ve come so far from the first day of this year. you have more wisdom and strength now. yes, other people seem more “successful” but does that even matter? please don’t think so lowly of yourself to only think about your failures. 2018 was your year of growth. I hope you take a moment to be kind to yourself, and believe that 2019 will be even better.
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Update
I made a spam email for my account, so I don’t know if I’ll be deleted or not. A lot of thinspo gets marked as explicit. I’ll probably come back, I don’t really have any followers that care. I’ll be home for a month, I’ll try to lose weight but I’ll probably gain or maintain and be sad about it. I’m sad that I’ll be at my highest weight in Hawaii, I regretted not losing weight when we went in 2014 and I’ll regret this for a long time, but there’s nothing I can do anymore. I’m sure over the course of college I’ll either a) keep binging and restricting and be stuck like this b) come to accept my body and look like this forever c) finally catch on to fasting and working out properly and lose the weight or d) start dieting and exercising in a healthy way. Who knows. After college, living on my own or with someone, I don’t know what it will be like. I’ll probably feel like this until I lose the weight. I guess we’ll have to see.
